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12 traits of a narcissist

What are the characteristics of a narcissistic person? What can you do to free yourself from narcissistic people in your life? A characteristic of narcissistic people is that they somehow always manage to turn it around to themselves. So it's always about him or her. Another characteristic is that they exercise certain control. What 12 characteristics do we attribute to a narcissist? You can read it in this blog.

Narcissistic traits

There is a difference in the expression of narcissistic characteristics, but there is often a connection in how it comes about. As a result, it is not always immediately noticeable in the beginning when you are in contact with someone who may be narcissistic. A narcissist does not seem unhealthy or strange in the beginning. They are often people who are good at manipulating and can put on a mask of kindness towards others. This often makes it seem as if the person who is dealing with a narcissist is not stable himself. So, it can be very tough in the beginning, so you start to doubt yourself. A person with narcissistic characteristics (un)consciously causes the other person to doubt themselves, which results in a display of power.

Master of Manipulation

Yes, one of the most obvious traits of a narcissist is manipulation. Dominating and controlling the other is common when dealing with a narcissistic person. This often causes a lot of frustration and sadness. As a result, the person dealing with a narcissistic person withdraws, is silent and hardly dares to stand up for themselves. Often the quiet and withdrawn behavior stems from fear of confrontation and arguments. Eventually, the other develops conflict-avoiding behavior out of self-protection.

12 narcissistic traits

  • Dominance (it often manifests itself in having control over the other)
  • Control (wanting to know what the other is doing, and with whom)
  • Quarrels (where everyone is to blame except him/her)
  • Victim role (intense emotions, sometimes even aggression)
  • No empathy (there is little empathy towards others)
  • Selfish behavior
  • Derogatory comments
  • Violence or breaking things
  • Manipulate the environment
  • To threaten
  • Very promising (but little/nothing comes of it)
  • Charismatic personality

How do you recognize a narcissist in a relationship?

You can often recognize a person with narcissistic characteristics in a relationship by: controlling behaviour. In the beginning of a relationship, a person with narcissistic characteristics will court you by showering you with compliments and/or gifts. Soon this behavior will turn into power display and controlling behavior. Manipulative behavior in which conflicts become more frequent. A narcissist will always blame his or her partner, creating an inferiority complex. A relationship with a narcissist is exhausting and distressing. It causes the person dealing with a narcissist to lose his or her self-esteem or not recognize himself or herself in his or her actions.

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Narcissist and money

A narcissistic person likes beautiful and often expensive things. For that, money can give a sense of power. It often happens that a narcissist wants to shower the other with luxuries, including beautiful and luxurious gifts. This causes admiration. A narcissist likes to feel superior. A narcissist and money can give very disturbing situations.

How do you break free from a narcissist?

First of all, it is important that you can tell someone your feelings, in confidence. It is important that you provide a safe environment in which you can be yourself and express your emotions. By listening to someone else's vision and accepting help, you are already one step further. Because the narcissist often already has control over the self-esteem of the other person, it is important to first learn to face facts. From there, many conversations are possible that ensure that the other person starts to believe in himself again. The most important thing is to regain confidence in your own strength and abilities, and to face reality. Since a narcissist often exhibits manipulative behavior, it is difficult for the other person to look at the situation realistically. Often there are certain patterns to discover, and possibly to break. Sometimes an intense past or low self-esteem play a major role, making it difficult for the other person to let go of the narcissist.
  • Get a confidant
  • Provide a safe environment
  • Cut off contact with the narcissist
  • Meditation can help you get closer to yourself
  • Discover your own feelings / look at yourself and the situation realistically



A narcissist often chooses people in his or her living environment who are empathetic. They are often sensitive and caring people who are more likely to put themselves aside for the needs of others. However, it also makes that a bit more difficult because they will eventually completely ignore themselves for the needs of the person with narcissistic characteristics. They see the good in others, which makes them willing to sacrifice a lot for the opportunity for improvement. Empathetic people are happy to offer their help, and love to admire another for his or her qualities. In addition, an empathetic person will be able to empathize with the emotions of another person and is understanding. To break free from a narcissist, the person will have to learn to guard his or her boundaries and develop self-love. Recognize that the situation is not healthy, and that the other person cannot take the same care and does not meet his or her needs. A narcissistic person and an empathetic person are like water and fire, which allows them to attract each other and bring out the worst in each other.

Is someone with 1 or 2 characteristics always a narcissist?

No. Not everyone is immediately a narcissist with a characteristic that you recognize. If you're dealing with someone who is dominant, it doesn't necessarily mean you're dealing with a narcissist. Of course, that possibility is there when more situations and characteristics occur. A narcissistic personality is normally diagnosed by a specialist doctor, but because a narcissistic person does not always encounter a counselor, this is therefore not an issue in many cases. However, there are people specialized in empowering you that can help you break free from a narcissist. On Chatspiritual you can chat with experienced spiritual coaches and psychics who are happy to help you with their insights.

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Date: 13-01-'23

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